Phoenix Rivers

I found this site via Lots of Co. I've been having a lot of fun with it as you're about to see.

I ran the faces of some of my favorite people through the celebrity face scanalyzer. If I didn't get you, please don't be offended. It's probably just because I dont have a picture of you. Either that, or I hate you; maybe both. (I'm Selma Blair, by the way).

Check them out:

Richard is Sugar Ray Leonard.

Matthew is Jimmy Stewart.

Miles is Lawrence Fishburne.

Adam is Monica Lewinsky.

Conor is Kirsten Dunst.

Eoghen is Marilyn Monroe.

Rollie is Sean Astin.

Sean is Erykah Badu.

Caroline is Shannon Elizabeth.

Charlie is Gustavo Kuerten.

Trent is David Hasselhoff.

Chandler is Sean Lennon.

Britney is Annette Bening.

Ryder is Brad Pitt.

Wick is Tony Danza.

Viviana is Jamie-Lynne Spears. (I assume she's related to Britney)

Preston is Christian Slater.

Chad is Aretha Franklin.

Scoops is Jessica Alba.

Most of these are a stretch, but it's still fun to play with. Damn, Preston does kinda look like Christian Slater.

posted by Rivers # 7:34 PM

Comments:

You might have lost Honey, but now Todd Solondz's Storytelling should be much more enjoyable. Imagining Rivers as Selma Blair moaning and getting anally raped by a huge black dude should be a huge turn-on.

# posted by

Laudlin Preklopnik : 4:07 PM

Lawrence Fishburne?

# posted by

Titanio Boulderdash : 12:11 AM

That is a nasty thought, Trent. That is, until you consider that the big black dude kinda looks like Billy Dee Williams.

Being raped by Lando Calrissian is a goddamned privilege, man. Inserting suppositories everyday to heal the burst blood vessels in my rectum would be so worth it.

# posted by

Rivers : 1:25 AM

I was gonna say Zing! but you had a nice recovery Rivers.

# posted by

RodV : 8:08 AM

C'mon, dude. If you're going to settle for a Billy Dee look-alike, there's always Carl Weathers. And Apollo Creed probably wouldn't make you call him a nigger, he'd just want to call you the Italian Stallion, and after it was over, he'd say, "Stay in school, kid." Doesn't that sound nice? Don't you have any standards?

# posted by

Laudlin Preklopnik : 3:35 PM

You'd seriously put Carl Weathers and Apollo Creed in front of Billy Dee Williams? You must be up out yo' mind.

# posted by

Rivers : 11:27 AM

I think maybe something's wrong because maybe you didn't update rockfantasy.blogspot.com super spiffily maybe but i thought last night was the best show so far big time maybe i am just trying to express concern but i seem to be failing miserably maybe my failure to convey emotion will reflect my failure to find purpose and i'll just have to maybe join a fuckin'... herd of lemmings maybe.

# posted by

Laudlin Preklopnik : 5:36 AM

Yeah, the computers up at WEGL were down last night, so I haven't gotten around to posting the playlist, yet.

I'm planning on doing that this afternoon.

By the way, you can go pick up your CD at WEGL whenever. Just bring a photo ID.

# posted by

Rivers : 9:57 AM

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Who the Fuck is Gustavo Kuerten?

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