Phoenix Rivers

That's right! This weekend kicked more ass than Lynyrd Skynyrd, Disney World, and a really accommodating whore put together.

Friday: On Friday I made the tedious drive from Montevallo back to my homeland of Auburn. For the ride home I made the following mix CD of my favorite rap tunes:

1. Will Smith- Wild Wild West
2. Ludacris- Saturday (Ooh Ooh)
3. Snoop Dogg- Lay Low
4. Grandmaster Flash & the Furious 5- White Lines (Don't Do It)
5. Bone Thugs 'N Harmony- First of the Month
6. Ludacris- Roll Out (My Business)
7. OutKast- The Whole World
8. Dr. Dre- Fuck Wit Dre Day
9. Snoop Dogg- From tha Chuuuch to Da Palace
10. OutKast- Bombs Over Baghdad
11. Ludacris- Stand Up
12. Ludacris- Move Bitch
13. Grandmaster Flash & the Furious 5- The Message
14. Public Enemy- Fight the Power
15. Snoop Dogg- Gin and Juice
16. Ludacris- Welcome to Atlanta
17. OutKast- Gasoline Dreams

I've always had a big place in my heart for rap, just not big enough for me to buy a CD. Yes, all of these songs are pretty old, but I care not. They rock. (Yes, the Will Smith song is a joke)

Upon returning to Auburn, I met up at my house with Rollie, Chandler, and Caroline 2 who were "selling ads" for 4th period yearbook staff. After weaving a few tales from my first week at college, they left and I hit the bed to catch a few z's.

The hours I spent thereafter went something like this: blah, blah, Moe's with Matt and Sean, blah, blah, drove around with Sean, blah, blah, dropped Sean off, blah blah, picked up Conor, blah, a party.

Yes, a party like none other. Apparently RC had told Richard and Caroline 1 about a band party over near Pebble Hill in a place called the "Mary Jane Apartments". Conor and I promptly responded to the scene and it was bad ass.

Where was it exactly you ask?

The occupants of the Mary Jane Apartments got a fourth-tier jam band called Green Lemon, a band that I've actually kind of heard of maybe, to play in the parking lot. Surprisingly, there weren't very many people there (maybe 100 total). This made the experience that much better. I took plenty of pictures, naturally, to mark the occasion.

Adam "just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I'm gay" G. was having a large time. He kept yelling requests for 'Free Bird' at the band, which has the potential to be funny with exceptional comic timing in a crowd of 500 or more, but in a crowd of less than 100 it just seemed out of place.

As I was watching the band play "Smack by the Pound" someone tapped me on the shoulder...

It was Ryder rocking a new short haircut. Still can't hold up to the ponytail days, but still rockin

By the end of the show, Orion wasn't feeling too good. Ryder came quickly to his side in order to comfort him. Is that Joelmeister in the background?

The best of the shots I took during the show:

After the show I got to talk to Green Lemon's bass player, Jesse. I showed him my pictures from the evening, and he told me to email them to him and he'd post them on the band's website and credit me! Yay!

Saturday:

Saturday was the big day. Time for The Acoustic Planet Tour. Literally 30 minutes before we left, Matt decided that he was going to go. Then, about 5 minutes before we left, Sean decided that he was going to go.

So we headed off to tha ATL.

We arrived in Atlanta, and after much confusion over where to park, we finally made it to the venue.

The first thing that happened to us, was that we got hit up by the Sierra Club people (typical at a show of this nature). They had us fill out some form that said we wanted to save the trees. To the chick who gave us the sheets, I offered this suggestion: We should just bomb a whole lot of other countries and steal their lumber, that way we won't have to cut down ours. She pretended to agree with me just so I would continue filling out the sheet. She was nice, but she'll never call.

Amazingly, we found Sam A. within the first five minutes of us being there. Sam claims Atlanta as his hometown. Fucking liar!

Matt and Sean soaked up the luscious "lot scene" (Actually, kind of a weak lot scene to be honest. I'm used to Bonnaroo I suppose)

Then, it was time for food. We made our way to a nearby restaurant.

Meanwhile, across the street, it was night-night for one Atlanta resident.

After dinner, we made our way next door to the Fox Theatre where the show was about to begin.

First up was...

Yonder Mountain String Band

Here's their setlist from that evening:

Ruby>
Only A Northern Song (A NICE Beatles cover)
Left Me in a Hole
Steep Grade Sharp Curves (w/ Futureman of the Flecktones on percussion)
Troubled Mind
Looking Back Over My Shoulder
Deep Pockets (w/ Jeff Coffin of the Flecktones on Horns)
I Am The Slime
Peace Of Mind>
Robot Jam>
Jam (Keller came onstage at the end of Yonder Mountain's set and began playing along. YMSB then left the stage one by one as Keller took over.)

My Yonder Mountain Pictures:

Next Up Was...

Keller Williams

Sorry, I can't remember exactly what Keller played, nor can I find the setlist online, so I can just tell you what I remember him palying

I know the following was played:

Kidney in a Cooler
What I Got (A cover of the Sublime song featuring Bela Fleck on the Banjo)
The Ninja of Love
Cumberland Blues (A cover of the Grateful Dead song featuring Jeff Austin of Yonder Mountain String Band on Mandolin)

Those are all the specific songs that I can remember although there were many more songs and no shortage of mouth trumpet playing.

My Keller pictures:

At one point Keller insisted that ALL of the lights in the theatre be extinguished, at which point he began mouth trumpeting and twirling a handheld spotlight

It was awesome. Keller kicked some really hard ass. After which, it was time for the main attraction...

Bela Fleck and the Flecktones

If you haven't seen this band live, I gotta tell you, you're missing out. The Flecktones are probably the best touring musicians (arguably the best all around musicians) around today. Anyone with any doubts will be silenced upon their first viewing of this band in a live experience.

Here's my Flecktones pics:

This was my second Flecktones show, and this one came close to topping the first. These are the songs that I can remember them playing (Again no setlist anywhere on the internet):

A Moment So Close
Sleeper
Stomping Grounds
Next
Michelle (Yet another spectacular Beatles cover from the evening)
and... I'm sure there were more.

The Flecktones delivered, and how.

After the 'Tones finished, everybody from all of the bands came onstage to do an encore. That consisting of:

The Ballad of Jed Clampett (The Beverly Hillbillies theme song)
Tear Down the Grand Ole Opry (An awesome cover of the classic John Hartford song)
Funkytown (As in the Lipps Inc. song from 1980)

So yeah, overall it was a great night. That is until we got lost...

Yeah, we drove for about 45 minutes down I-75 (as opposed to I-85 where we were supposed to be) We ended up at a truckstop in Griffin, GA. The attendant in the "diesel department" gave me directions on how to get back on I-85. We were going to have to take Highway 16 all the way to Newnan, and then get on 85 from there.

On the way out I bought some Apple Cobbler donuts from the Krispy Kreme case for myself and Conor. After we ate I went to go piss, and there was a guy literally being cornered in the bathroom by a crazy Jesus freak. After that I just ran outside to where the rest of my crew was waiting, hopped in the car, and left as fast as I could. The ride to Newnan was an X-Treme journey. We passed through the incredible towns of:

-Griffin
-Senoia
-Cowetta
-Turin
-Sharpsville
and -Raymond Unincorporated

Finally, we made it to Newnan and the interstate home. On the way home, Matt and I had an interesting wager going. Matt seemed to think that due to football traffic, the next sign that we would see would say 'Auburn'. Whereas I said, since Opelika is the county seat, it will say 'Opelika'. I guess Matt could sense defeat coming on in the form of an Opelika sign, so he decided to invent an imaginary sign that said 'Auburn'. Matt just can't admit when he's wrong. That boy needs to have his head measured by the shrink, I tell you what.

We were informed that refugees from Jacob's party had ended up at Rollie's house.

As if the night couldn't get any more surreal, I arrived at Rollie's only to find Mr. Scoops there as well. Apparently, Trent had given him a ride over there to mix things up, or to piss off Adam G. Either way, that shit was funny as hell even though Adam split at first sight of Scoops.

Then, I tried to play Springer between the Matt and Trent camps which have been warring for awhile now.

Me: Matt, what is your problem with Trent?
Matt: Because he can't be serious, he thinks everything is funny when it's not! He makes personal attacks on me...
(Trent laughs)
Matt: See? Look. He thinks I'm joking!
(Everyone laughs)
Me: Okay. Trent, what is your problem with Matt?
Trent: He's gay!
(Everyone laughs)
Matt: That's not funny! Oh whatever

The whole thing was fucking great. Sorry Matt, but it was. I can't lie.

The night ended around 4:00 AM, but it was a good one.

Sunday: Today was the day of the picnic and Chandler's long-awaited sequal to "Los Gringoes v.s. The Dandy Bitches"