Showdown in T-Town



So yeah, this weekend was kind of lame overall. I ended up hanging out with McLeod & Co. twice this weekend. Once Friday, and once Saturday. It was the usual mix of TV and sitting around. It was far from a refreshing change of pace, but it is nice to go slumming every once in awhile.

Anyway, this weekend was pretty much blah until today. This morning I woke up to that awesome "oh my god, I have to vomit!" feeling. Last night I ate nothing but meat. Unfortunately, all of the animal spirits got together and kicked my ass this morning. I was sick for a good half an hour before I eventually made it back to bed.

My intention was to leave my house at 10:00 this morning so I could make it up to Tuscaloosa in order to visit with Richard, Eileen, and Ian who was already up there to see Eileen. Unfortunately my rude awakening forced me back into unconsciousness, and I didn't end up leaving until 1:00 PM or so.

An interesting side note: As I was driving through Prattville, I was listening to the version of "Roses are Free" from Ween's Live in Chicago CD. Just as I was passing through the town, I shit you not, I saw a flower store with a sign in the window that said FREE ROSES With Purchase of Select Bouquets. Naturally, I didn't believe it.

Anyway, after a long haul up to T-Town up Highway 82, I finally arrived. I met Richard at his dorm, and then it was time for the moment I've been waiting for ever since Richard began his term at U of A. I WAS ABOUT TO MEET THE STEPHEN J. POHUSKI



Richard and I anxiously crept up to the door.

As soon as it was opened, I layed eyes upon the legend himself. He was reclining in his rolling computer chair, reading a large literature book. He was dressed in a lime green t-shirt with pleated and plaid golfing shorts. After formal introductions were conducted, I commenced the small talking.

Me: So, what are you reading?
SJP: Frankenstein
Me: Ah, it's a good one
SJP: I don't really like to read
Me: Oh, Okay.
(SJP Stares blankly at me, I stare back. An awkward pause)
Richard: Okay, we'll see you later

That was it. That was the entirety of our first introductions. Everything that Richard had told me about was true. This really is the most boring guy in the world. He isn't even gay. One would hope that a male ballerina would have the common courtesy to be at least a little flamboyant just for the sake of being interesting. Nope. Quite the contrary. He wasn't flamboyant at all, he was utterly lackluster. I determined later that you could be more entertained by the Coldplay poster in Eileen's dormroom than you could from S.J. Pohuski.

I know you're all dying to see what this wonder of nature looks like. Well, here he is...



Yes, that is all there is to this guy. If you just saw that picture, you already know Stephen J. Pohuski. Richard and I left the room and when we arrived back two hours later, he was in the same position. Wow, I am amazed that such a dull person exists, however I tell you friends that it is possible.



Just in case you didn't get a good look.

Needless to say, the novelty of Mr. Pohuski wore off pretty quickly (8.5 seconds to be exact). That's when Richard and I decided to take a stroll through the Capstone over to Eileen's dorm. After passing through what seemed like endless random prayer circles and bullshit Christian services, we finally reached Eileen's pad. We rode upstairs in an elevator with a padded sofa thing in it. It was rockin'. We went into the room and I met Eileen's suitemates. They seemed nice enough.



Ian was there too!

Then Richard and I decided that we were going to check out Alabama Bryce Hospital for the Insane. It's a mental institution that was completely shut down and abandoned in the 1960's, and according to local lore it is haunted as fuck. We used the afforementioned website as our directions to the place. As it turns out, "long ass road", "big ass grocery store", and "a bunch of trees and shit" are not the hottest directions on Earth.



Richard and I scoured all of Northport for over 2 hours. Unfortunately, the only good picture I got was not of a ghost, but of this sign which mysteriously has the word "No" written in quotation marks. Ooooh Scary!

Finally, Richard and I admitted defeat around 8:00 PM. Disheartened, but not broken, Richard and I pledged to get back on the horse soon. This time, we'll be prepared. Tonight Richard obtained an actual road name and an address and everything. Thanks Mapquest. Expect pictures!

So, now I'm back in Montevallo. Hopefully this weekend will prove to be a hell of a lot better than last weekend, assuming, of course, that Hurricane Ivan hits us full force.